“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you're allowing them to hurt you a second time
in your mind.”― Shannon L. Alder
When life sometimes feels like you're 'walking through toffee', you might well find you're carrying a whole lot of unnecessary baggage that is making the going harder than it needs be, Some of those burdens are weights we bear that we can and should truly just let go.
There are many allegories illustrating this common human syndrome, but this lesser known one was related by Eckhart Tolle:
A Great Letting-Go Story
Two monks, one older and one younger, were traveling along a road when they came to a stream with a strong current. A woman stood at the edge, unable to cross. Seeing her distress, the older monk picked her up, carried her across the stream and gently set her down on the other side.
The younger monk was shocked. They had taken vows never to touch a woman, yet the older monk had done so without hesitation. As they continued their journey, the younger monk grew more and more agitated, unable to suppress his disapproval.
Finally, after several hours, he could no longer contain himself. "How could you carry that woman?" he asked. "We are monks—we’re not supposed to touch women!"
The older monk smiled and replied, "I set her down hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?"
Tolle uses this story to illustrate how the mind clings to the past, creating unnecessary suffering. The older monk let go of the experience immediately, while the younger monk carried it as a mental burden, long after the moment had passed.
Where did your thoughts, emotions, and allegiances go as you read this well-told tale? The story doesn’t trouble itself with the details about what it means to ‘touch’ a woman because details complicate things. Perceptions are most often biased and seldom an accurate barometer to go by.
The story illustrates how the human mind holds on to things. It loves to justify our thoughts, building arguments to support our view for the need to ‘be right.’
What burdensome baggage are you still carrying? Some common examples include:
- Past pain – rewinding hurts and betrayals build grudges and resentments that only hurt you.
- Past joys – when these are no longer attainable or repeatable, you hurt yourself by holding on.
- Another’s pain – some hold onto what happened to someone else and love to remind them of it.
Try letting go of things that cause you pain, anxiety or self-doubt and negativity and see the difference it makes to your day.
Some great letting-go quotes:
‘Letting go is not forgetting, it’s remembering without fear’ – Lifehack
‘Letting go does not mean you stop caring, it means you stop forcing others to.’ – unknown
‘To heal a wound, you need to stop touching it.’ – B Wordsworthy
‘Learn to let go of what no longer serves you.’- Frazer T Buchannan
‘A spirit of acceptance helps you let go of what you cannot control.’ – Angelique de Sancé
‘Contentment in what is helps you let go of what was.’ Becky Bridges
Lesson: Letting go does not negate or minimize your past pains or past joys, it frees you to find contentment and open to see the joy and the good going on in your world today. Inner peace comes from learning to let go of unnecessary mental baggage.
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Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional medical or psychological advice. Please consult with a qualified healthcare professional for personalized guidance.
